仕事を楽しくする賢い方法 ②
他人は変わらないと知る
「他人と過去は変わらないが、自分と未来は変えられる。」
これはカナダ出身の精神科医エリック・バーン（1910 – 1970）の格言です。
本日お伝えしたいことはこの言葉につまっています。
私は他人を変えることはほぼ不可能だと思います。人間は、自分自身が変わろうと強く決意して努力しない限り変わることはできないと思います。
しかし、他人を変えようとする行動や言動はいろんなところでよく見られます。
人間の本質的なところは他人に言われても変わりません。
親しい関係性がある人でも変えることはものすごく困難です。
自分のパートナーや子供、親でも本質的なところを変えることは出来ないのではないでしょうか？
しかし、人は自分の思うように他人を変えたがってそこに多くのエネルギーを使います。
しかし、他人は自分の思うようには変わりません。
そしてこれは双方にとってものすごいストレスになり、人間関係が悪化する原因となります。
例えば仕事で自分とは合わない人がいたら、変えようとするのではなく、どうしたらこの人と一番生産性が高くなるのかを考えて自分の考え方や行動を変えるのが賢いと思います。
相手に期待しても思ったような行動は得られないと思いますし、イライラしても、その人は変わりませんので、自分の考え方を変えるのが良いのではないかと思います。
最近読んだ本に、人間関係は人を幸福にもするが、最大の苦痛の原因ともなりうると書いてありました。
確かにその通りかもしれません。
人間関係をうまく築くには、色々とコツがあると思います。
最後までお読みいただきありがとうございました(*^^*)
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